My post modern family experience

I can’t help but think of what a post modern world really means in life or in my life in particular. The modern interpretation of my life was the life I had with my live in girl friend and our son. At the age of two we split and I have been existing in a post modern world since - much to my detriment. WHile I like the freedom which comes with being single - I miss the modern feel that our relationship gave me. Now, I exist in a personal new world order where  things not only feel different but actually are so. I pay my bills now. Before, I was the bread winner but she paid our bills. Now I find myself in school, working and paying my own bills, cooking my own meals and spending the majority of my week alone. The nuclear family which I was accustomed to is gone and a new type of family exists in it’s place - representing a new world order. My son lives with his mother for the majority of the week. He learns at school. I have little to no say in his daily life and deal with his temper tantrums on the weekends. I do not blame him. I blame myself and his mother for being unwilling or unable to work through our problems. Now, she is dating a Harley Davidson riding, double timing piece of trash. that too is a new world order of a sorts. My son has contact with this pot smoking, philandering, uneducated ape and that about just sets me off. I wish for my son to have a role model in his life who is not biker trash. I hope that my son will surpass me in every way, in particular I hope he transcends my inability to tolerate trashy people. He will grow up in  a new world order home - much like I did. It was my hope to avert such a fate for him as I know first hand what such a childhood brings. I grew up with my mother and step-father who was a very interesting person. He would preach one thing and do another. The contradiction was difficult to understand.

New world order relationships are nothing new. They are less frowned upon in our new world order world. It is better accepted to be alone in a relationship. I suppose that I long for the days f the old world  when it comes to relationships. I long for the nuclear family. Perhaps it is such a strong feeling due to the fact that I myself was deprived of it as a child. Perhaps I still love the mother of my child. One thing is certain - new world order relationships make for a stronger individual because you are often on your own.  Perhaps I speak only for myself. Many men say to hell with their women and move on. I regret to say that I am unable to do so. I have not found a way to move on from my hopes of returning to a nuclear family. Sad, I know.